I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
