remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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