I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
