sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
