She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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