My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
