i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
im holly from the hills drunk
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
