Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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