he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
