i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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