Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize