Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
