I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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