ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
even my farts smell like vagina
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Randomize
