people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I am midnight drunk by noon
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
