What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
