Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
