There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
