At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i think im in europe. pls send help
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
