i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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