Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
