I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
