i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
