i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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