You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
