I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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