The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
