Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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