I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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