Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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