so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
