Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
