Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize