Already got asked if we're dating
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
