So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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