ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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