they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
