Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
