Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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