I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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