Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
