there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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