you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
