forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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