he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
