i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
