i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I need water and some morals
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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