p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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