I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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