To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I smell stomach acid.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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