eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
