Me too!
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
