great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
