omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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