"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize