Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
