I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
