just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
