Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize