He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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