I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
