ya dads aren't the best wingmen
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
