She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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