I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
