Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
