these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
