who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
