And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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