The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
