Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
