worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize