69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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