I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
two words...techno handjob
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
