the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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