All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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